I was inspired by the amazing Soki Hagiwara to post something meaningful on this xanga site.

We just got back from ten days of fundraising. It was such a deep and meaningful experience. I never experienced fundraising at this level during my first year. It's amazing. One year of fundraising isn't enough. It's a shame I couldn't just do another year of fundraising. These ten days seemed like forever. In a really good way. God blessed me so much. You just invest the smallest infinitesimal amount of sincerity in your mission and God pours out His heart to you even if you're totally oblivious to 99.9% of what God is trying to tell you. If you can just catch a few grains of that love and wisdom from God's heart then it'll all be worth it. Then God will keep pouring out all His love to you and you take in as much as you can as your heart grows bigger and bigger. Then suddenly... one day.. you'll be a perfect embodiment of true love. That's the plan. 

 If all else fails, I can just keep fundraising.

I thought these two weeks would go by really slowly, but they really didn't. 

Now it's time to fly back to the real world  --- S T F ---   !

Daaang this next year is gonna be craazy.  Things are happening.  The world will never be the same again. Who's with me?

Life at home is good.  Hard to adjust I guess, but I'm not trying to adjust cuz I'm leaving again in a week. Just spending some quality time with the Mulls before I go back to my other family.  Things have changed a lot around here. The house is so quiet. It was just me and my dog today. I had to get out and run around for a little bit.  Prayer is really awesome if you make a lot of effort to connect to God. 

This past year seems so crazy looking back. So many struggles, so much effort and overcoming. But it's just one small step in life. Every year should be like this-- full of suffering and challenge and victory. That would be a life worth living.

"We must start right from that point; we must go through the bitterness and struggle in order to obtain the happiness and love.  In order for us to do that-- to love God-- we must deny ourselves."    -Sun Myung Moon.

Man this year is flying by. Went up to Estes Park for another workshop, had another 21-day condition, now on our way back to Colorado again.  When I look back on this year, I feel like so much has happened even though it seems not too long ago that we were at UTS at the kickoff. I feel like I'm coming to some kind of crossroads where something big is going to happen. It's been building up all year, little by little. All these small experiences, minor struggles, major struggles, blood sweat and tears are adding up to something. The front line can be a crazy place to be sometimes. Part of me is looking forward to going home, and part of me wants to stay here so much longer, to keep fighting every day. I'm so far from where I want to be right now, but I don't think I can ever go back to that nice comfortable place where I was before I left home. Yeah STF is crazy, but it's so awesome. No matter how much I struggle and struggle, I'm so grateful to be here.

Kansas is awesome too.

Back in Atlanta again. This past condition and these past few days have been pretty eye-opening.  Every day is a battle. My hopes and dreams pitted against the reality of the world and myself. But everyday I make that decision to live for something greater. It will all work out in the end.